Image: I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die by Len Lantz (CC BY-NC-ND)
Synopsis: Len's Star Rating: 4 out of 10. A first-person account of experiencing and overcoming depression and suicidality as a Christian.
BY LEN LANTZ, MD, author of unJoy / 2.1.2023; No. 106
Disclaimer: Yes, I am a physician, but I’m not your doctor and this article does not create a doctor-patient relationship. This article is for educational purposes and should not be seen as medical advice. You should consult with your physician before you rely on this information. This post also contains affiliate links. Please click this LINK for the full disclaimer.
Star Rating – 4 out of 10
Rating guide: 1 = horrible, 5 = average and 10 = wow
Author
Sarah Robinson
About the author
Sarah Robinson has a decade of experience in ministry and the mental health field. She is a speaker on topics of living well with mental illness, enhancing self-care, and dealing with negative self-talk. I love Jesus, But I Want to Die is her first book.
General description
I love Jesus, But I Want to Die is a Christian book that addresses the stigma of depression and suicidality. The author shares her history of having suicidal thoughts as early as elementary school, then eventually finding stability and substantial improvement in her mood, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. She shares strategies that she has uses herself and stories of receiving both encouragement and unhelpful comments from other Christians after she reveals to others the depth of her suffering from mental illness. She explains why having a mental illness does not make anyone a bad Christian and encourages the reader to have hope and to reach out for help.
Unique and most important aspects
I love Jesus, But I Want to Die is a first-person account of a Christian who has struggled with depression, self-harm, and suicidality, telling her story about breaking the stigma, obtaining help, and improving her mental health. Sarah Robinson shows courage and vulnerability in sharing painful aspects of her life and faith. Her book provides also provides an extensive amount of background information on depression and mental illness.
Much of the content of this book is good – above average, in fact – but I gave the book a lower rating primarily due to the title and some of the disturbing details on self-harm and suicidality. I found the title itself to be triggering. The title may draw readers who are likely to be unstable. I put off reading this book due to its title and I chose not to pull out the book to read on an airplane or leave it on the coffee table when we invited over friends. I did not find that the subtitle, Finding Hope in the Darkness of Depression, was enough to balance out the title. Several chapters started with “TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING.” From a public health standpoint, graphic details of suicidality are not helpful for suicidal readers. Newer research indicates that people at high risk of suicide are more likely to remember negative, unhelpful details about suicide rather than helpful content (Wiglesworth, et al. Crisis. 2021).
Best quotes
“Sweet friend, there is nothing wrong with you. You are not a bad Christian for toiling under the crushing weight of depression. Mental illness is not a failure of faith or evidence of a flimsy prayer life. It’s simply a common part of the human condition, one that many people will experience.”
“Antidepressants made a huge difference for me, and they do for the majority of people who take them.”
“The words ‘choose joy’ are not found anywhere in the Bible because we can’t simply decide what emotions we will experience.”
Who would enjoy this book?
Readers who are interested in hearing the story of a Christian woman who overcame her depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts are likely to enjoy I love Jesus, But I Want to Die.
Who would not enjoy this book?
Readers who are triggered by the title or would be vulnerable to graphic details on depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts are unlikely to enjoy – and could be harmed by – I love Jesus, But I Want to Die.
Conclusion
I love Jesus, But I Want to Die is a first-person account of experiencing and overcoming depression and suicidality as a Christian.