Image: How to Really Love Your Child by Len Lantz (CC BY-NC-ND)
Synopsis: Len's Star Rating: 8 out of 10. One of the best books on showing love to children.
BY LEN LANTZ, MD, author of unJoy / 1.30.2020; No. 6
Disclaimer: Yes, I am a physician, but I’m not your doctor and this article does not create a doctor-patient relationship. This article is for educational purposes and should not be seen as medical advice. You should consult with your physician before you rely on this information. This post also contains affiliate links. Please click this LINK for the full disclaimer.
Star Rating – 8 out of 10
Rating guide: 1 = horrible, 5 = average and 10 = wow
Author
Ross Campbell
About the author
Dr. Ross Chapman (1936 – 2012) was a child and adolescent psychiatrist, parenting expert and author.
General description
How to Really Love Your Child is a book that explains how nurturing and loving a child is a powerful force in shaping the development of the child, regardless of the child’s temperament. It is written for parents of children younger than adolescents. The book includes chapters on managing anger in children and on strategies Ross Campbell calls, “loving discipline.”
Unique and most important aspects
Ross Campbell challenges the reader to consider whether or not they are effectively communicating love to the children in their lives. He gives basic strategies for conveying love, beyond buying gifts or verbal statements such as, “Love you.” The book is a short, easy read and encourages the reader to determine if they are making common mistakes that end up sending the wrong message to their children.
Important ideas from this book:
Outlines 9 childhood temperaments and explains a key study by Chess and Thomas on nurturing
Provides examples of showing love through:
Eye contact
Physical contact
Focused attention
Describes appropriate vs. inappropriate love
Explains “loving discipline” strategies for parents to avoid the “punishment trap”
Best quotes
“Discipline is only one way of relating to a child.”
“Almost every study I know indicates that every child wants to know from parents, “Do you love me?” The child asks this emotional question mostly in behavior, seldom verbally. The answer to this question is absolutely the most important thing in any child’s life.”
Who would enjoy this book?
Any adult or parent who wants to become more effective in showing love to the children in their lives.
Who would not enjoy this book?
People who are really bothered by the split infinitive in the title might not enjoy How to Really Love Your Child. Some readers may be put off by the use of spiritual language or spiritual references. Adults who believe that children need to earn their love are unlikely to enjoy this book.
Conclusion
How to Really Love Your Child is an excellent book on developing habits that communicate love to children. Parents and other adults will find this book contains practical advice in connecting and strengthening their relationships with the children in their lives.