Image: The 5 Love Languages of Children by Len Lantz (CC BY-NC-ND)
Synopsis: Len's Star Rating: 8 out of 10. A good book on showing love to children.
BY LEN LANTZ, MD, author of unJoy / 1.29.2020; No. 5
Disclaimer: Yes, I am a physician, but I’m not your doctor and this article does not create a doctor-patient relationship. This article is for educational purposes and should not be seen as medical advice. You should consult with your physician before you rely on this information. This post also contains affiliate links. Please click this LINK for the full disclaimer.
Star Rating – 8 out of 10
Rating guide: 1 = horrible, 5 = average and 10 = wow
Authors
Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
About the authors
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the bestselling book The Five Love Languages and has authored several other “Five Language” spin-off books. Dr. Ross Campbell (1936 – 2012) was a child and adolescent psychiatrist, parenting expert and author. He wrote the bestseller How to Really Love Your Child.
General description
The 5 Love Languages of Children is a book that sorts the variety of ways in which children receive and express love into 5 basic categories. The book has the potential to broaden your understanding of a child’s unique love language beyond simply buying the child presents and saying, “I love you.” Speaking a child’s love language is usually nonverbal and experiential and involves specific intention and consistency.
Unique and most important aspects
Gary Chapman really has a gift in distilling the concept of love into categories that are acceptable and understandable. Ross Campbell has the expertise and experience to explain how these ideas relate to parents and children. While the book is a quick read, it is certainly longer than it needs to be to explain the content. This book contains a story, “What Mark Took to War,” which is only a page long, but which alone is worth the price of the book. This story brings tears to my eyes whenever I think of it.
Important ideas from this book:
Applies the “Five Love Languages” concept to children
Physical touch
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Gifts
Acts of service
Incorporates a well-written chapter on anger
Teaches that a child’s love language can change over time
Advises parents to practice unconditional love before moving on to discipline
Describes strategies for learning a child’s love language(s)
Best quote
“Whatever love language your child understands best, he needs it expressed in one way—unconditionally. Unconditional love is a guiding light, illuminating the darkness and enabling us as parents to know where we are and what we need to do as we raise our child. Without this kind of love, parenting is bewildering and confusing.”
Who would enjoy this book?
Any adult or parent who wants to become more effective in showing love to the children in their lives.
Who would not enjoy this book?
People who struggle with the use of spiritual language or spiritual references might not enjoy The 5 Love Languages of Children. Some readers could be put off by the overly simplistic explanations, premises such as “all children are selfish” or references to ineffective parenting practices, such as spanking. Adults who believe that children need to earn their love are unlikely to enjoy this book.
Conclusion
The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively is a good book on developing a deeper understanding of how children receive and express love. Parents and other adults will find this book to be a helpful resource in connecting and strengthening their relationships with the children in their lives.