Image: Raising Lions by Len Lantz (CC BY-NC-ND)
Synopsis: Len's Star Rating: 3 out of 10. A book about dealing with the challenging behavior of children through the lens of interpersonal dynamics, power differentials, and behavioral strategies and plans.
BY LEN LANTZ, MD, author of unJoy / 5.26.2020; No. 18
Disclaimer: Yes, I am a physician, but I’m not your doctor and this article does not create a doctor-patient relationship. This article is for educational purposes and should not be seen as medical advice. You should consult with your physician before you rely on this information. This post also contains affiliate links. Please click this LINK for the full disclaimer.
Star Rating – 3 out of 10
Rating guide: 1 = horrible, 5 = average and 10 = wow
Author
Joe Newman
About the author
Joe Newman, MOAM, is a behavioral specialist who consults with and leads workshops for parents, teachers and support staff on his approaches for addressing the disruptive behavior of children.
General description
Raising Lions is written for parents, teachers and other adults about approaches for dealing with the challenging behavior of children through the lens of interpersonal dynamics, power differentials, and behavioral strategies and plans. The author asserts that current less-authoritarian parenting approaches lead to the creation of strong-willed kids (“lions”) who then steamroll their parents. Topics covered in this book include:
Setting boundaries
Following through immediately on consequences
Providing empathy while encouraging children to self-regulate and choose adaptive rather than maladaptive behaviors
Introducing the concept of behavior plans
Encouraging parental/adult action when there is a need to address a child’s behavior
Avoiding lectures, criticism or repetitive reminders of the rules
Unique and most important aspects
Raising Lions provides several helpful ideas and approaches to working with challenging kids. As a pediatric psychiatrist, I disagreed with his negative comments and narrow views of my medical specialty, which left out large areas of our training, expertise and approaches. I also believe that speaking negatively about mental health diagnoses, treatments and treaters fuels stigma about mental illness. Additionally, there were several instances where the author used rhetoric to state opinion as fact or forced explanations in an all-or-nothing manner.
His patient stories were quite good, however, many of the behaviorally disturbed children in the stories would require an expert in behavioral planning, a team-based approach and a specialized school setting. Parents would not be expected to know how to create a behavior plan from reading this book. Important concepts from this book include:
Explaining the author’s use of Intersubjective Psychoanalytic Theory
Including helpful “Tips for Parents” section
Outlining his parenting approach Meet the Hand, which is empathic, action-oriented, consistent, predictable for the child and measured in response to the child’s behavior
Mentioning the risk of putting a child in a therapeutic hold and warning not to attempt without formal training
Reminding parents that corporal punishment does not work
Introducing the term Verbal Jujitsu, a strategy to reduce the chances of a tantrum while enforcing boundaries
Providing a graph showing how to effectively match behavioral interventions and privileges for children based on the child’s level of cooperation
Best quote
“The basic tool of the behavior plan was to give James short, immediate time-outs on the spot. These were to be done without explaining to James what he’d done wrong. For instance, if he threw blocks, his behaviorist would tell him, “James, I need you to sit for sixty seconds right here.” He would direct James to sit down a few feet away from the activity, quietly, for 60 seconds. The reason you don’t tell him why is threefold. First, telling him why invites argument, manipulation and discussion, all of which can be stimulating and reinforcing. Second, when you discuss why you assume a certain malignant intention in the action being addressed when it might simply have been impulsive. Third, when you give the consequence without explanation you are letting the child know that your expectation is that he can figure out the reasons for the consequences and is expected to figure out those things that are common sense and considerate of others.”
Who would enjoy this book?
Readers who are looking for encouragement to be stronger and more action-oriented in their parenting would likely enjoy Raising Lions.
Who would not enjoy this book?
Readers who would be bothered by the use of negative labels, such as “manipulative” for children, or the negative orientation toward mental health diagnoses, treatments and treaters might not enjoy Raising Lions.
Conclusion
Raising Lions is a book about dealing with the challenging behavior of children through the lens of interpersonal dynamics, power differentials, and behavioral strategies and plans.