Image: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen by Len Lantz (CC BY-NC-ND)
Synopsis: Len's Star Rating: 10 out of 10. An excellent book about parenting through empathy and effective communication.
BY LEN LANTZ, MD, author of unJoy / 4.2.2020; No. 10
Disclaimer: Yes, I am a physician, but I’m not your doctor and this article does not create a doctor-patient relationship. This article is for educational purposes and should not be seen as medical advice. You should consult with your physician before you rely on this information. This post also contains affiliate links. Please click this LINK for the full disclaimer.
Star Rating – 10 out of 10
Rating guide: 1 = horrible, 5 = average and 10 = wow
Authors
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
About the authors
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are two savvy parents who got it right and hit it big when they learned parenting strategies from the grandmaster of parenting, Dr. Haim Ginott. The parenting approaches that they learned resonated with them on such a deep level that they added their own parenting insights, taught other parents how to parent with an empathetic approach and wrote bestselling books on their personal experiences and expertise.
General description
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk became a bestseller because it met a long overdue need for a book with practical parenting advice. This book has 100+ proactive parent tips that follow the overarching theme of empathy. Categories of advice include: coping with your child’s negative emotions, engaging children’s cooperation, expressing your strong emotions without being hurtful, setting firm limits, using alternatives to punishment, and resolving conflicts peacefully.
Unique and most important aspects
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen is the first or second parenting book I recommend to parents. While the scripts and dialogue are dated, the situations are relevant to today’s parents. I happen to love the cartoons, which illustrate the main points of the book. This book is filled with empathy for children and parents. The book acknowledges that parents make mistakes, but it is also clear about roles. Parents are adults and should behave as such. Your kids are children and need your empathy and understanding.
Important aspects of this book:
The reader can learn the basic concepts of this book by reading the cartoons
The ideas are based on the work of acclaimed parenting expert Dr. Haim Ginott
The authors provide raw honesty about the emotions, successes and failures of real parents
There are useful summaries at the end of each section titled “A Quick Reminder…”
The book includes dozens of useful ideas that parents can use immediately
The authors explain the important differentiation of descriptive praise from non-specific praise
Best quote
“We want to put an end to talk that wounds the spirit and search out the language that nourishes self-esteem.
We want to create an emotional climate that encourages children to cooperate because they care about themselves and because they care about us.
We want to demonstrate the kind of respectful communication that we hope our children will use with us – now, during their adolescent years, and, ultimately, as our adult friends.”
Who would enjoy this book?
Adults and parents who desire effective strategies for dealing with common parenting problems and identifying their own maladaptive strategies would enjoy this book.
Who would not enjoy this book?
Some people do not feel that they can take a book with cartoons seriously. People who would feel belittled reading a parenting book with cartoons might not enjoy How To Talk So Kids Will Listen.
Conclusion
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen is one of the best and most approachable books on parenting for any adult. It offers many ideas and strategies for positive parenting.